A Potter Future Reality
by She-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Psycho
Summary: Sour, adult Draco Malfoy lives alone in a big house with a horde of House Elves and swarmed by the undying popularity of his nemesis in every day life, and nothing would he wish more than to keep Harry Potter merchandising from Potter himself. No spoilers
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: 'Future Perfect Nightmare'

(THE PROLOGUE OF APOCALIPSIS)

* * *

"- Not one bloody day without his bloody presence!"

"Mister Malfoy! Care your vocabulary!"

A middle-aged house-elf approached her 22 years old blond and elegant (and sexy, I would say) Master Draco Malfoy, as he continued his little parody…

"_Ohhh, Harry Potter! Ohh, Harry Potter! Please, can I lick your boot, Marvelous, Perfect Harry Potter?! If I just could adore you more! Do you want an altar?_" He mocked shrilly.

"Please, it's just a magazine! Master Malfoy is making such a fuss about –"

"_I_'m making a fuss about it??? It has a Potter _Perfect_ Fan test as to join a Harry Potter _International _Fansub!"

"Looks like someone has waked up with his wrong foot this morning."

It was another maid talking to the First Maid. _Ah but not to mention all others_... the smaller elf-maid had hinted as she was taking some clothes to laundry and, although they haven't developed telepathic abilities yet, even that very last part wasn't missed by the First Maid House-Elf.

"Tsk… useless, useless, Mawee. As always, Master Malfoy's just jealous –"

_"Oh _– Don't get me started! When I was young it wasn't an unusual thing to kick house-elves bottoms here and there if one _ever_ got me annoyed!"

"If master even considers it…"

Both elves stared a wary stare at Draco, waiting for his reaction.

"Yeah, I know, I know. You are going to denounce me to the _Assembly for the_ _Defense of House-Elves' Rights of Harry Potter_, right?" Malfoy got on his favorite chair and as he was turning on the TV, "Why don't we just put up a _Potter_ wallpaper so as to see his face everywhere in my _house_!"

"Oh, that would be just lovely! " Mrs. First Maid received a deadly glare from her master, which she obviously wasn't taking too seriously.

Not really caring what he was seeing, Malfoy started changing channels annoyed. On the TV screen first appear Professor Potter trying to make a rat turn into a Goldemir(whatever that was); then there is an advertising in which Harry Potter promoted a new love potion called "Just what you dream about"; then the fifth Harry Potter's movie, starring the very Harry Potter himself, what would be the equivalent to Michelle Phieffer's daughter and Mel Gibson as Dumbledore (remember this is close to 20 years after our present, right? Well, he's till the handsomest Dumbledore in all history).

"Always the same on the TV. I'm sick of it!"

"You seem to be the only one," the older house-elf maid pointed out cheerfully.

"I still wonder how it can be that he, going trough so many things, didn't finished killing himself," said with a roguish smile on his face at the moment.

"You're only saying that after watching Mr. Potter TV biography on LightSide' s News Channel"

Malfoy was annoyed ('I really don't get how those Gryffindors could buy their personal channel on not-muggles TV'), "Yeah, but he should have died; after being hit by a giant snake or being taken to extreme hunger by his substitute parents –"

"They were his uncles."

"Whatever… I mean, that can, should and must have made someone commit suicide! What has stopped him?!"

Malfoy change channels again: there was a Quidditch mach between Serpentis, his favorite team (almost all there are Slytherin ex-students), and playing against their principal rival, Lioneels.

"Great! Finally, something worthy on the TV," Draco was saying as the presenter announced the arrival of the new Lioneels' seeker; on the screen: ( Do I have to get it clearer?) Harry Potter.

'Bloody Potter had monopolized the whole TV industry!' Malfoy thought as he was turning off the TV. As he was doing this something else turned on...

A Harry Potter Magic Hologram appeared in the middle of the hall, and it spoke to the elderly House-Elf:

_"Hello, Mrs. Moppy. Today, you have a busy day: you have to –"_

As the hologram spoke, Mr. Malfoy approached his maid.

"I don't know how I let you convince me of this… _this_…"

"Gorgeous Magical Harry Potter Memorandum Book? "

"_Stupid_ thing"

"Oh, c'mon, Master Malfoy. I know you like it "

"Please, kill me if that ever happens."

"OK "

Draco thought for one second about asking about her not-much-trouble-killing-him attitude (not as if he was liking the 'thing' in advance) but preferred to keep his mouth shut as to prevent another arguing that afternoon with –

"First Maid!"

Of course: He it...

"I have a name, Sr."

"Whatever. It's almost 5:00 PM, where's the tea?"

" 'Please'?"

"Not- going- to –"

"Where was I?"

"You are not making me say it," Draco said dangerously.

"– were you saying, pardon me –? Oh, yes, laundry."

There was a big 'BOOM' noise as Draco got on his feet at once in angry madness, "_PLEASE_!", with a tone meaning 'Don't make me stand up, stop fooling around and get your stinky little self in the kitchen right now to make that bloody cup of tea!'

The thump of Draco's feet meeting the ground made Moppy start her run (but more like jumping) on her tinny little foots to the kitchen, but not before shouting from a safe distance –

"That was all I wanted!"

* * *

Just some minutes later, Malfoy, tired, moved to the stairs but didn't get far. "Not again…" He moved back where he had just passed at the sounds of those familiar noises.

The same scene he was _so_ used to, always at the same hour, every day of the months in his life (if he could call it to himself a life): all his house-elves at the window, staring like freak fans, going hysteric to see that handsome young boy at next door, charmingly smiling, waving his hand at them. Malfoy, like always, went straight to them and shut the shouters down, not missing that last "Hi, Draco!" and receiving a kind smile from his favorite neighbor before doing it, Harry Potter.

Malfoy muttered to himself, "_Bloody_ _life. Bloody Potter!"_ then, looking at his maids, "What are you looking at? Go! Work!" and then, looking at his Harry Potter themed watch…

"What a miserable life..."

* * *

Soon, 15 min later, the tea was ready. Moppy placed it at a little table at the hall, which was also the tea-room. This house was much smaller than the one he lived at his childhood ('miserable, bloody life...') although it was the biggest of the neighborhood –more even than Potter's one, he reminded himself.

As he was getting to his usual and comfortable side-saddle and asking not to leave not even one of the maid's Harry Potter 'bloody' magazines near him as not to see "someone's face" ('not for the rest of the day at least') he heard a knock at the door. He looked at his sides waiting, "No one is answering that?"

But the house-elves kept unwavering still; they were really not used to have visit in Mr. Malfoy's house. They were almost scared…

"Ok, so I'll be answering that," Draco said reluctantly while getting up.

He approached to the door when Mawee stopped him, "Wait, Master Malfoy! It could be dangerous!"

Malfoy rolled his eyes, grabbing the knob, "Nonsense!" he twisted the handle but turned to his maids, "I mean, even if it was the Devil himself taking us all, that wouldn't be _that _bad."

But he was wrong.

Eyes and mouth wide opened in shock and disbelief, body petrified as he has just seen a Basilisk (and as everybody else's), Draco Malfoy stared at a figure outside the door that showed a little bit of embarrassed at being stared by such looks of surprise and having practically the attention of every people in the room.

There, holding a basket with wine and some candies and trying not to look too nervous, it was, standing awkwardly as it finally spoke,

"Er, hello, Draco. It's... it's been time we don't see! Even though we're neighbors... Um, oh, thanks for the basket! It was – erm, nice of you, I guess. I really don't have much room to keep it so I was wondering if we could –" cough "- _share_ it?" A small uncomfortable blush appeared, "eh – Something's wrong?"

There was a tense silence atmosphere for about five seconds and then…

"Harry Potter! Please, c'mon! Join us! It's tea time and Moppy was just about to make some cookies. We all will love to have your company!" Moppy took him by his clothes and pushed him to Malfoy's favorite chair before anyone could complain (being this 'anyone' obviously Draco), "Sit here and be comfortable as Moppy finishes some details."

"Ok. But, isn't this Draco's armchair?" Harry said, feeling a little awkward.

"Oh, Moppy's sure Master Malfoy won't mind taking another chair from the library –"

('—which was also the living room... Bloody life')

And so he goes, the look in Moppy eyes made him understand he didn't have any choice, but not without giving an evil 'I-will-take-your-blood-of-this' look at Harry Potter.

When coming from the living room, he saw all his all-aged house-elves maids behind a wall, ogling Potter like shy fans in love (yeah, which are very difficult to find), whispering in anxiety. Draco heard some comment about he getting mad (not really knowing who 'he' was, if him or Potter) and then he started to have some scary thoughts about revenge, and a scaring, mischievous smile appeared on his face.

"Girls, please, don't be shy!" a very polite (Lockhart-worthy) and strange tone possessed Malfoy's voice which got everybody's attention, "C'mon! Obviously you want to ask some questions, that's totally understandable! Go ahead! He won't bit you! ('Unless he is hungry enough, I guess...') And I bet he won't care to have a few questions answered, right, girls?"

Though the mere thought of Mr. Malfoy being kind to them made them… well, seriously freaked out was saying little, they were _totally_ convinced.

Just a second later Potter was being glomped by a herd of hungry elves fans popping out of everywhere screaming and asking for autographs (some only wanted to touch him –heheh) as Malfoy was laughing his head off at one corner. Moppy got out of the kitchen alarmed by the noise and ran to help Mr. Potter. She ordered Mr. Malfoy to watch out the cookies (nobody will ever know why, but he agreed to it) as she managed to get through the anxious fans to stop them from choking their guest as one was even climbing on top of his head!

Suddenly two figures made their entrance at the room.

"Where is him?"

"Is he still alive?"

Ron Weasley stood on the middle of the room with Hermione Granger by his side. Both, Ron and Hermione, were witnesses of that shocking scene: Draco, getting out of the kitchen, wearing a pink apron; a house-elf with a helmet and broom shock-still in mid getting-them-other-house-elves-away-from-their-guest, and Harry greeting them from what might have been a chair made of pilled tiny dresses, not as comfortable as he should, as a house-elf fell down from his head.

"What the –??"

But Hermione interrupted Ron as she run to Harry worried, "Harry, are you Ok?

"Umm. Yeah, I'm fine."

"Oh! Great! Then, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR HEAD??! WHATAREYOUDOINGINDRACOMALFOY'S HOUSE, FORGOD'SAKE?? Whatifsomethinghappenedtoyou?! You'renotbeingverythoughtful, youknow! Youdon'thaveanyideaofhowmuchweworried –"

"Easy, easy! Breath, swallow – whatever you do! You know, I just came to, you know, make a short visit to Malfoy, _that's_ all."

Draco got very enthusiastic – no, better _overjoyed,_ let's say – with Potter's words.

('_Short_! He said _SHORT_!')

"_That's_ what I wanted to ask you! I received a call just some minutes ago that you are _visiting _Draco Malfoy, trying to make 'peace' – or something – with him when you're supposed to be in a meeting with diplomats and contracts to fund that muggles-wizards peace org. project at this very moment. I mean, what have becoming of you lately? Do you think yourself Mother Teresa or something?!" Ron pointed out to Harry embarrassment.

"Ouch! I totally forgot – I thought this was my day off."

"No, no, but seriously, _Draco Malfoy_?? Havin' _tea_?? You don't _even_ know if it'sn't poisoned or something –!"

("Not like I didn't think about that," Malfoy muttered to himself.)

"– not to mention the bad publicity this'll have on _you_!"

"Ron, I know you're my manager _and all that_ but, seriously, you don't _need_ to worry aboutit" Harry Potter said, obviously trying not to offend the people in the house who, except for the very Malfoy himself, have all been very kind to him, "Besides, I gotta say you sound like your mother, lovely woman as she is," joked Harry smiling as Ron blushed in a shocking red.

On the other side of the room Draco was laughing in madness at the comment as if he was now seeing the Weasel in a pink dress with long curly hair... aaaaand as if he didn't realize he himself was wearing a pink apron...

A knock was heard at the door and Ron went to it, still a little mad, as he went on telling Harry, "Anyway, we _must_ get outta here before anyone can see us", as he was opening the door, "Believe me, it's for your own safety –"

A flash came out from outside, making everyone blind for a couples of minutes before they realize it came from a camera.

"This is for the 'Wizards and Witches' Fantasy magazine'!" Out there was a young boy smiling stupidly, preparing another shot, "Say cheese!"

But before he could take another picture Ron shut the door. Sounding frightened and with a dramatic tone, he said, "Bludgers, we're stuck in here."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: 'Perfect Potter's Past and Present'

((APOCALIPSIS NOW... SOONER OR LATER))

* * *

"Bloody Colin Creeves!! What the bludgers is wrong with _him_?!?!" spat Ron furiously.

"What do you mean we cannot get out? What's happening?!" asked Hermione nervously.

"The house is surrounded by reporters. As I've already said, we're stuck."

"What! That means they have to _stay_??" Draco said to himself but was heard by Moppy from whom he received a kick that graciously asked him to shut the pretties up. "OW!"

'This is a nightmare!' the thought echoed in Draco's head.

"We must get out of here," Hermione finally pointed out.

Like it was some kind of password to chaos, all maids started, again, pursuing Mr. Potter's every shadow. By the time they could get that freaked-out house-elf down from Harry's head, _again _(even Draco helped), they were encircled by all the other that looked like they were not taking a 'no' for an answer.

"OK, that's it!"

Just when they thought they've completely lost control, the older, First Maid House-elf, Moppy finally made worth her presence,

"Girls, get all to work right now and stop bothering Mr. Potter! You two," said pointing to two elves there, "help me in the kitchen with the cookies you've made me burn; and Mr. Malfoy, please take the guests to the living room so they can be more comfortable."

"What?! But –"

"No 'buts', move on and I don't want any complains!" there was a little silence as she turn to Harry-"Mr. Potter, I'm so sorry and ashamed."

"Eh – no, you don't need to –"

"Over here," Malfoy guided bad-temperedly.

"And _be_ gentle!"

"I really, _really_ do want a new life…" Malfoy muttered to himself.

* * *

And they entered a corridor next to the kitchen. As they were following Draco, Ron whispered to his friends, "She acts like a wife, don't you think?"

"Well, it looks like Malfoy have finally found himself a companion that suits him," Hermione said, mocking Malfoy's luck.

Potter agreed, "Yeah, nice temper."

"Hum, yeah! But I was saying that 'cause she makes me remember so much at _you_, honey," said Ron who talking to his dear wife.

"_What_ have you just said, _Ronald Weasley_?!"

Despite hearing them and trying to imagine the First House-elf in a wedding dress (what would make him feel horror-struck in normal circumstances… today it was almost ordinary), he didn't paid too much attention to their conversation. Malfoy was trying to figure out why was Harry Potter in his house, why had he not poisoned the tea when he had the chance and why the bludgers was he receiving them in his living-room!

"Here is the library-living room-whatever. On the other room there're some juice and other drinks. Help yourselves," and with that, he goes. He banged the door closed on his way out.

"Well, _that_ is service!" sarcastically, Ron pointed out.

* * *

Draco got out just to be received by the First Maid.

"And now _what_?? You're not expecting me to dance to them or something, _are_ you?" Draco said this last part with kind of a 'pleading' tone.

She sighed hopelessly, "Master Malfoy, you are hopeless. Moppy didn't really expect that you'd be chatting and drinking tea amicably at the first visit but… You could at least try."

"_What_??" Malfoy suddenly looked wary, "What do you mean?"

"The basket. Moppy – I mean, _I _sent it. Moppy thought Mr. Malfoy might feel a little lonely, without any friends near. And as you were always taking about your years at school, when you were Harry Potter companion –" ('companion' being a very relative word here) "- and you were always taking about famous Potter, famous Potter's scar... Then I thought you'd like his company, be a friend. And I _do_ really think he'd be a really good influence, Master Malfoy. And so Moppy send the basket with an invitation to him so you two would become friends, though I really didn't expect he would accede that soon –"

"YOU _WHAT_???!!!!"

"Well, it was _partly_ because of _that_... You see, the girls also wanted to give him a present for being their – well, hero, but as it was also paid with your money… Master Malfoy, please don't kill Moppy... ´"

* * *

You hadn't seen Malfoy madder in his life, that's for sure. Now that he knew why was Harry Potter in his house (the real reason) he concluded he must, more than never after, get rid of him.

So he went to the 'service room' (a little room like a cafeteria where there were the drinks). Stopping by the door, he heard a private conversation his neighbor was having with his best friends.

" – when I saw you surrounded by elves," Weasley laughed, "I mean, I knew you _loved _House-Elves and all that but –"

"Shut up, Ron," said Harry, "I would like to see yourself surrounded by hobgoblins."

"Sorry," Weasley said not sounding sorry, though snickers and trying to steady himself in the table, "But really, Harry, what were you _thinking_?"

Malfoy heard Potter hesitate, "Well, I just thought we could make a truce, I mean, things should have changed a little since school. And, you know..."

('Ha! And _Hell_ is organizing a party and giving _presents_ on Christmas!' Malfoy thought.)

"Yeah, now he's older enough to be put on jail if he tries to kill you, right?" Weasley continued, "So you think this the perfect opportunity to tease him all you want. Seriously, you don't know to which point he can go to revenge about, well, all those years at school. You really beat him in every game, put him to shame in dueling!"

"It cannot be that terrible, right? I mean, what's the worse he's gonna do? Seduce me –"

Both boys exploded at laughs as a figure stood at the door.

"Malfoy!" Potter blushing madly stared at the blond; a little flushed too, young Draco, also calling Ron's attention.

"OK, Potter. I didn't send _you_ that basket with candies; my house-elves _had_. I didn't send it like a 'making-peace' gift nor I'm interested in doing such thing, and as I have a terrible headache which can only become, if possible, worse if that crazy old elf Moppy stars yelling again, I'm not kicking you out right now. That's it."

Alerted by the fuss Hermione stepped in. She was carrying a magazine with her and a worried expression in her face.

Draco just continued, "So, feel free to enjoy the cookies, drink whatever you want and leave as soon as possible, OK?" then leaving the room and stepping into the living room.

Draco really couldn't figure out why he was being so indulgent and not kicking them out to their luck and to the hungry journalists in that exact moment… he just felt urged to get the prettiest out of there, actually. He was just seconds from reaching the corridors door and getting away from the lunacy.

But he _had_ to ask before leaving, didn't he?

"You should get that sense of humor of yours checked, why the sick – and impossible – image of _me_ flirting with Potter should be funny, may I ask?" he asked, contradicting every part of him telling him to run as far as possible right now.

But surely what came afterwards was not what Draco Malfoy was expecting. The reaction he was waiting for was a lot more alike Potter telling him that it was an inner joke and was not his 'bloody business'. Clearly wasn't expecting Weasley's eyes to sparkle that much, Granger trying to hide herself behind the magazine and Potter to blush.

"Oh! He _doesn't_ know…" Weasley was smirking but, to Malfoy's surprise, his gaze was directed to the flushing Harry.

"Shove it, Ron," Harry said and then turned to Draco, "Not your _bloody_ business, Malfoy."

'Oh, there it is'

Weasley laughed. "Why not, _Potter_? It isn't like all the rest of the planet doesn't know about it yet. And, who knows! He might be _interested._"

The sight of Harry growing crimson made him remember his years at school and a smirk was about to pop out just before he restrained himself and realize that 'that', whatever thing that was making him that uncomfortable, couldn't be that good if it had something to do with him 'seducing' Potter.

Oh, and Granger snorted.

"I'm warning you, Ron Weasley."

Something about the scene was hilarious to Malfoy. Currently forgetting his early intentions, he allowed himself to take a glass of wine while enjoying the show.

"C'mon, Harry. Wouldn't he want to know?" Weasley continued ignoring Potter's glare, "Wouldn't he find it funny to know that The Boy Who Lived '_grabbed the snitch with the other hand'_?"

Malfoy choked in his wine. Weasley seemed to think it was funny because he started laughing again.

But the words could not make total effect on Draco: at that exact moment Moppy stepped to the room (while he heard Granger telling the Weasel off for having such a rude and poor use of language). There was a twinkle in her eyes, and the way she was smiling…

_('Bloody spawn! She knew!') _But Draco couldn't react fast enough nor in a way that would not expose him quite shamefully.

So Potter was a poof, ('What's next? Longbottom's grown a second head and a pair of wings, turning into a half-owl creature cheerfully delivering Valentine letter over-flowing whole Europe?') and was that a meaningful look Granger was giving him? No, Draco decided at that point it was better to turn to his favorite reaction: denial.

"And what do you want me to do about it, throw Potter a Welcome Out of the Broomcloset party?" Honestly, Potter publicly announces his tastes and _he_ had to celebrate it?

"We only thought you might be interested," said Granger. But Malfoy didn't take it as 'interested for mortifying Potter' exactly, so...

"Oh yeah!" Draco said, voice dripping venomous sarcasm and he rolling his eyes; his heart pounding a bit uncomfortably, he parodied, "I see how that would be, _'you know, Draco, I'm gay'_ – _'Oh, so am I, Harry!'_ "

Potter had picked up the idea played along, humored, "Yeah_, and coincidentally, I like you!_"

"_And coincidentally, I like you too, Harry_– "

The moment the words came out from his mouth, Malfoy utmost regretted it. They came out on an impulse, really.

Malfoy spoke almost immediately just not to let the uncomfortable silence linger, "In an alternate universe, you know."

Granger had a sly smile followed by a snicker, Weasley looked another way as if uncomfortable or annoyed. Potter, on the other hand, had raised an inquisitive eyebrow. It was the giggle coming from behind him that alerted him Moppy had heard it all. He threw her a cold, angry look over his shoulder, almost missing to pick what Granger said next.

"- the Neville accident?"

Draco was brought back to reality by that statement.

"Having so many magazines you must have heard," Hermione pointed out by her husband side, but she was staring meaningfully at Malfoy, then lifted the magazine like about to read making a poor impression of being uninterested.

"Stop it," Potter said. Draco didn't think she meant it to mock Potter exactly, but while Potter didn't seem to see it that way...

It was just then that Malfoy saw that in the opposite side of the journal Granger was holding that there was a moving Harry Potter facing him. He answered fast, before conclusion could be made.

"It's not mine. It's one of the maids'."

"Oh! Your maids like Quidditch?" Granger stated triumphant while turning the magazine around so that Malfoy had a clear view of the front page (which, guess, also gave her and the two blokes the opposite side with Harry's face) and grinning like a loon.

('_Bugger, bugger, bugger!'_) Malfoy realized Granger was right as he took a closer look at it. But he was not going to tell Potter that_ he _had _bought_ a magazine with _his_ face on it – in order to rescue some of the left dignity. (By this time, Weasley and Potter were both listening eagerly every bit of their conversation, which disturbed him, though Draco didn't know it was most likely because 'Quidditch' had been mentioned.)

"Surely they only bought it just because they saw Potter's face – Oh, _bugger_!" he was not saying that to him either, clearly. He was not boasting Potter's ego; that would be another way of loosing this battle. Oh and he didn't seem to realize that he had said the curse aloud.

Draco concluded at that moment it'd be prudent to leave the wine and change it for some tea.

"Sure Skeeter had a fest of things to write afterwards," Hermione went on, another completely different subject Draco had not been listening to.

Truth to be told, previously, Moppy's interruption made Malfoy feel cooler (he would deny at every instance he was about to blush just a second before), but he was still a little tense about this new, er, discovery. Wait, and didn't she just said –

"_Longbottom_?? Couldn't you _just_ fall for Weasley? I don't believe I will say this but it would have been more decent!" Malfoy finally spoke.

Hermione let a snort at this.

"No, Hermione won him first," Harry said with a wary voice.

"Hey!" Weasley said trying to sound more offended than he was, "Don't talk about me as if I was a trophy!"

"You wish," Draco retorted. Welasey looked put out but Potter was busy as he had picked the same magazine and was commenting, "I didn't know your father sponsored Serpentis –"

"What?! You bloody scumbag!" Ron reacted immediately taking the magazine from him.

"Mind your tongue! You're _still _in my house!" commanded Malfoy with a tone such he made a perfect personification of old Snape.

"That team is full of cheating _scum_!" Weasley retorted and Malfoy scowled, "Just a bit of an accident with a malfunctioning bat doesn't make them cheaters."

"They were the ones presenting a demand so not to let Harry play in Lionness!"

"And they were dead right! He is everywhere else!"

And what better moment for an unreal person to appear!

"Mrs. Moppy should not forget to do Master Malfoy laundry before dinner –" 

The Harry Potter Magic Hologram appeared just before the weasel taking him by surprise. Apparently he had touched the switcher of Moppy's memorandum book, or the house-elf just forgot to turn it off.

"Bugger."

Draco Malfoy couldn't think of a more embarrassing thing to happen.

The worst thing was maybe that it said 'Master Malfoy', nor Mister -- if he only hadn't asked to had "master" there, as condition to accept 'that thing' in his house. Now it sounded oddly improper, outright indecent in the light of recent events. At the time he had thought it was a funny idea, he had no intention of making it sound like a dirty-talk line!

Moppy had immediately materialized and hurried to turn the thing off. Potter found this a good time to ask, picking a doll shaped like him which had just fallen from the laundry basket Moppy left on the floor, "You have quite a bit of merchandising, house-elves."

"Ah, that's Mr Malfoy's," Moppy blurted without a second thought.

Now positively red in the face, Malfoy said in what sounded like a pained groan, "it's was a present."

It was all Mafloy could do to not think of the several Harry Potter Brand items in the house. And not to even consider Harry finding the closet with all of Harry Potter merchandising he had been depriving the house elves, waiting there for further teasing, including a set of Barbie Witch Meets Harry Potter!

Actually, that plushy Potter held had been the only thing he had considered at least mildly decent. If compared with when this maid just came with the idea of buying a Harry Potter themed toilet seat –

"Last Christmas', yes, and he also has the underwear, but he never wears it," Moppy dared say; it seemed she was pretty proud of the reaction of mirth her last unintended revelation had produced. Indeed this last bit of information aroused giggles, whistling and cat calls (Hermione, Harry and Ron respectively), and a very heated Malfoy.

"Done?" Malfoy said, pretty annoyed.

"Well, that was scary," Ron chirped when Moppy was finished shutting the memorandum book off, and Draco "mmh"-ed, able to imagine very much scarier things. Which reminded him…

"What's the time?" without waiting for an answer, Draco looked eagerly at his watch; bad idea. The three loonies happened to recognize the brand but, unsurprisingly, he couldn't care less at the moment. "Don't you have to go arrange my room or something?"

"Oh yes, will," Moppy said. "Moppy was just on her way to pick the sheets and your favorite pillow, the one with Mr Potter's face on it."

At this, Weasley positively choked in laughter so that Granger was too worried to laugh herself and Potter looked as uncomfortable as he felt.

"Since when is that my favorite pillow?!" Malfoy asked, outraged, not to say embarrassed.

"Oh, that's the feeling I got when I caught you snogging it the other day."

And Moppy was careful to disappear just afterward to leave flustered Malfoy calling, "THAT NEVER HAPPENED!" in panic rather than anger, and Potter covering his face with his own embarrassment disguising this action coughing in his hand. Granger was still patting Weasley on the back.

Malfoy, not even realizing he had stood during his last outburst, let himself fall back into the couch looking dejected. As Weasley was still coughing, he forced himself to stare at the roof. A small silence followed afterwards.

"I want to die," Malfoy said miserably.

"Might I suggest death by asphyxiation," offered Potter "... with a pillow?"

Hermione snickered loudly but Weasley seemed to have lost all his energy in that last fit. Malfoy lowered his head to stare at Potter and said, "An evil fate you have chosen for me."

"Suits you."

"You should have chosen our side," Malfoy blurted for no reason.

Potter stared. "With Voldemort wanting to kill me?"

"Ah, yeah, I always forget that detail."

"Seriously, stop flirting, you two!"

Malfoy could not but smile a defeated smile at Weasley's mock-outraged comment and looked thoughtful at his glass. There was a comfortable silence as they, dare he say it? They were finally enjoying each other company. A very unusual thing indeed...

Suddenly a 'BOOM!' sound explode somewhere in the room.

Out of the blue a smog mist of gray smoke filled the room as four little figures appeared just in front of them; in fact, kids.

Little Ron, "Bloody shit!"

Little Hermione, "This is really not what I expected."

Little Harry, "Chatting and having tea with _Draco Malfoy_?!"

Little Draco, "I'm so screwed up! Where the hell did the _dignity_ in this room go?!?!"

Little Ron, "Turn it back! Turnitback turnitback turnitback!"

Little Hermione, "That's- -what- -I- -can't- -then- -NOW!"

Little Draco, "I promise I'll never let that happen in the future."

The other three, "Yeah!" as the figures disappeared back from they came from.

...There was some odd silence at the living room for some time, and then...

"Oh, I remember _that_ one!" Harry was the first to react.

"Yeah, that little accident with the Time-Turner in third year... I then thought it had been all a dream," Ron stated.

Malfoy drank a little more of tea, "Kids."

Others three agreed with sounds or nodding.

'_Kid...'_

Draco stared at his tea thoughtfully and smiled in his knavish style…

_'...you_ don't have an idea.'

.

THE END

by She-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Psycho!"

Nadia I. Rey

20-09-02

* * *

NA: You will notice from the date this was written ages ago, in my "who cares about correct punctuation marks" phrase. No spoilers whatsoever. Having not posted it anywhere, I wanted to share it as we approach the end of the series. I hope you have liked it.

Review if you please!


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